a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
