i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
