It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
