i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
