we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
