oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
