your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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