i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just invented taco cereal.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
