This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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