omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
