That's intense
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
