remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
