I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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