Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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