She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I puked a lego.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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