i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
