I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
