I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
