he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize