Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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