Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize