I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
