There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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