I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize