One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
