yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
