i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
