I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize