My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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