I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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