So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
