I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
