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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  sounds like you fell off the wagon.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.

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• (805): View more from California

  Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Hillary?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  What'd I miss?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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• (310): View more from California

  She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed

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