Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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