After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
