So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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