i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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