He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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