.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
