What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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