Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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