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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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