it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
