My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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