I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
