When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
