its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
