ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
