Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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