Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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