I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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