My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
