You smell like a Billy Joel song
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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