just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
