He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she peed on how many people?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
