i just sent this text using only my big toe
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
