I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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