Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
