2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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