shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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