just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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