If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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