Betty ford says i'm here all night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
