Whod you bang
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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