just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
